To You Whom I Still Remember

Becoming friends with the real Nagisa had always felt like fate.

I met her on the first day of middle school. We were put next to each other in class. Soon, we learned that we liked the same genre of books and movies, and we quickly became best friends.

But I’m not sure if we’re still besties after that last fight.

I couldn’t remember how it went. But it must have been horrible enough to give me brain trauma.

“My real self regretted that fight, too,” said Nagisa IF.

‘IF’ was short for ‘imaginary friend.’ I made that title for Nagisa, whom I had created out of my imagination. Throughout my high school years, I had been hanging out with her.        

Because Nagisa IF helped distract me, I didn’t have to think too much about my past mistakes.

“I wouldn’t mind being your imaginary friend in college too,” said Nagisa IF. “Still, have you never wanted to confront the reality? It’s the real Nagisa you want to be with, not me.”        

“Even if I were to go see her,” I said, “what would I say?”

“Hmm, how about ‘I am sorry’?” She said. “Or ‘I know we can’t turn back time, but I want us to give it another try’?”

All Nagisa IF said I had thought of before.

“I could go on and on,” Nagisa IF shrugged as she continued. “Since I live inside your head, I have a lot of ideas about how to say sorry. And I know you have been giving this so much thought. But you also know, right? Haru, whatever you said, nothing matters as much as my real self probably wanting to see you too.”

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