Because I Love You

Shun invited me to his house. He had gotten the movie I wanted to watch and suggested we watch it together this Sunday, since he has a big screen and his parents wouldn’t be home. 

It was not that I didn’t want it—if he had that in mind. After all, I had experience. 

Except that with my ex, I had believed we would be together forever. Yet, we broke up. And now, I was dating Shun. I didn’t want him to think I was easy. 

My body might be ready. But my heart wasn’t.

When I got to his house that Sunday, Shun asked if I wanted some cocoa. He told me to put the movie in the meanwhile. The tension of being at his place had gotten to me. In my nervousness, I stubbed my toe into the couch and ended up on the floor. 

“Akane?” Shun came rushing into the living area. “I heard your voice—” 

He stopped when he saw me crying. 

He put down the two mugs of cocoa before helping me up. “Hey,” he said, “what's going on?” 

I told him. 

Shun heaved a big sigh when I finished. Now I had done it. I got weepy and annoyed him. “So, that’s why you’ve been acting weird.” 

And now he thinks I am weird. What am I going to do? 

“Look, Akane,” he knelt before me, “I never want you to do anything you don’t want to, ok? It won’t make me happy at all if you have to force yourself. Because I love you, I want the time we share to be something we are both happy about. So, no pressure, alright? We’ll get there when we do.” 

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